As a Fibromyalgia warrior I sometimes feel very isolated from the world. I feel like I shouldn't say how painful it is today. I feel like I should just push harder and perhaps the pain will disappear. I feel like if I say sorry enough to the universe then maybe, just maybe my pain will stop. Just 5 years ago I thought the pain was going to take my life. I thought that there was no way out of the seemingly bottomless pit of pain and brain fog. But after coming out of one of my first hospital stays, I knew that there was nothing left to do than to fight for my life back. I didn't know the answers, I didn't know how to find the answers, but I did know that I was worth saving because I am worthy of this life.
Having an invisible illness that impacts my daily life is not easy. No one can see my pain, no one can really help me with my pain and no "conventional" pain medications can help me. I have begged Doctors and specialists for help, no one really could provide answers. Over the years I became more and more angry that no one would help. So I took my health into my own hands and I fought back.
I went through 6
General Practitioners until I found my amazing Integrative Doctor
I went through 6 General Practitioners before I found my Integrative Doctor. I had been talked down to, told it was all in my head, treated like a junkie, been traumatized by medical procedures, told I was "just depressed". I was NONE of those things. I was sad sure but that's because I'd lost the life I was used to. I was in my own head because I couldn't move most days to get out of bed. I was seeking pain relief because EVERY single muscle in my body was a 15 out of 10 pain, all day, every day.
I refused to push chemicals into my body. I refused pharmaceuticals were my answer. I refused to believe that there was not a better, safer, healthier option to heal me. So I signed up to university to become a Nutritionist. A Nutritionist...hhmmmm yeah right. What's a chubby, accountant from the middle of no-wheres-ville doing signing up to become a nutritionist? Has she gone and lost her mind? Well yeah I kind of did.
During the darkest days I have always loved food, cooking has always been my "zen thing". Some people like yoga or running or sky diving, not for me, it has always been cooking. I consider myself pretty good too, and can whip up masterpieces from next to nothing. I'm a country girl (NSW, Australia) who learnt to shop for groceries once a fortnight because it takes an hour to drive to the grocery store. I now buy majority local grown/sourced seasonal food but more on that later.
So I guess I've always had an emotional connection to the power of food. SO that is why I knew that food would be a powerful changer and help me, save my life. I knew that if I kept on going the way I was that I was going to loose the battle to live, and there was no way I was going to leave my hubby & babes without their Mumma Bear.
It hasn't been easy, not for 1 minute. It has been A L O T of hard work from me and my family & friends. I have had to have the most heart-wrenching look at myself, my life and what I choose to hold onto and what I choose to let go of. I have tried almost everything to find my arsenal of tools I use to keep me well and have helped me to heal.
Join me next time for more sharing of how we all can live our most unique wellness.